A Word of Advice... on forgetfulness

By Joshua O'Connell
Posted Monday, June 30, 2003

There seems to be a lot of people who know my name from classes and stuff and I don't remember theirs. Any idea on how to combat this disease of the brain?

--Name withheld (what was it again?)

You're asking the wrong person. Thanks to the power that is the newspaper, there are quite a few people who know my name, and I haven't the foggiest idea what their names are. It's sad, really.

On occasion, I'll forge a memory slip… start stuttering, like I'm having trouble completing a sentence, approach their name, and then say something like "Darn! I'm having an alzheimer's moment! What is your name again?" and usually I get through without the person becoming offended. Of course, now that people know my plan of attack, the gig is up... I'll have to be more creative.

Kathryn, a student at good ol' Fairfield University, had some creative ideas that she shared with me during Orientation Week. For instance, she mentioned a friend who would ask to see her student ID a lot. Turns out she wasn't just laughing at the picture (doesn't everybody's stink?), but was also trying to get another glimpse at the name on the ID! That's a clever way if you do it once or twice, but from the sound of Kathryn's description I think she used that gig too many times and waaaaaay too often. So use it sparingly.

She also suggested letting friends meet. They'll hopefully introduce each other, not expecting you to go "Hey James, have you met John yet?", going instead for the sneaky "You two haven't met yet! I can't believe I didn't introduce you" to which they'll follow by shaking hands, trading names and helping your memory. I'm sure there are other ideas, and if you have one, feel free to E-mail them in and I'll mention them in a future column.

--Yearly forgetfulness, yearly headache

I tend to do OK with birthdays, anniversaries (except my parents, who think they're important enough to celebrate it twice), and the like. However, I've felt the wrath when I occasionally forget a birthday. There's so many to remember sometimes that some, or even all, can slip by because it's too hard to keep track.

The best way to remember them is to plan ahead. Try to schedule something that you'll need to take a day off from work. Since you're putting that much effort into it, you'll probably remember it that year, and it'll stick. That's helped me.

And if you're really stuck, there's the sneaky ways. If you work with her, and personnel records are laying around, use them to your advantage, as long as it's not confidential (that helped me one year). If you are friends with some of her friends, talk with them about birthday plans, and bring them to a calendar so you can both look at how far away it is (while making a mental note about where the friend's finger points). AIM profiles, old pictures with date stamps… get creative.

Just be sure to remember next time, and as for missing this year's main event, make it up by taking her out to a nice place, with flowers and such, and sincerely apologize (don't read it off an index card). If you show you care, and just had a one time screw-up, you'll probably make it through. But don't ever let it happen again, young man.

--Number-challenged

I'm running out of space for this column, so I'll just pass on a tip or two I've used. Look for repetition, and use it to your advantage. I sometimes remember numbers just by the way a keypad is designed… an unusually high number of phone numbers I call regularly has a pattern, like a diamond or a box on the keypad. (It does throw me when I use a phone that doesn't have the normal 3x4 layout though.) Finally, take the geeky way out and have a pen in your pocket at all times, with a scrap of paper like a grocery receipt or something to jot it down. Good luck, and thanks for asking.

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