A Word of Advice... on Quick Questions

By Joshua O'Connell
Posted Monday, August 20, 2007

A challenge for me, and fun for you: can I manage to answer 10 questions in 850 words? This is one of those random ones that I like to do every now and then. With the school year approaching, I can flush my inbox and prepare for the new school year. As such, here’s quick questions, and quick answers.

My friend is mad at me and I don’t know what to say.

--Calm down!

If you screwed up, apologize. If you didn’t screw up, let her settle. If she doesn’t, find another friend.

How can I tell if my boyfriend is losing interest in me?

--Stay focused

Easiest way: ask. Otherwise, observe: if things are changing and you never spend any time together anymore, he may just not want to anymore. Then ask. If he is, and you’re not happy, find another boyfriend. (I sense a theme…)

What do you do when you know someone who is trying to get his friend to kill himself?

--Frightened by the thought

Intervene. Tell said friend that you know what he’s up to. Then tell the person he’s trying to sabotage what he’s up to. As well as the victim’s friends, family, etc. Befriend the victim and find people better than the douche to hang around with.

Whenever I have a sleepover my two best friends fight with everyone else. I am going to have a sleepover pretty soon and I don’t want my friends to fight with everyone. What should I do?

--Troubled Friend

The easiest solution is to not invite them. They can’t fight if they’re not there. If you have to invite them, tell them to lay off the rest of the people there. If they don’t, find another group of friends who are more mature.

How does a man feel when all along he was saying there is nothing with another woman, but when you go to his apartment he and the woman are there?

--Caught red-handed

Who cares? How do *you* feel? He might be friends, and she’s visiting, or there might be something more. If you trust him, let it go. If you don’t, and don’t think you’ll be able to, I repeat: who cares? If you can’t trust him, find another boyfriend you can trust, or work on your trust issues if this is a common thread through your relationship.

I been so caught up with drama, that I failed three of my classes. I decided to drop my 6th period class because I was failing biology, English, and world history. I am at a great loss. Help!

--Class crisis

Sounds like high school, so see your guidance counselor and seek assistance. Work with him or her to craft a plan to get back on track. You can get back on track, and admitting you need help is not a crime or a bad thing. Hell, you asked me, didn’t you? Find a plan that works for you.

I have a crush on a boy and we have known each other since first grade. I am totally in love with him. I found out that he had a crush on my friend and I am depressed. Please tell me how to win his heart again.

--Lovelorn

To win his heart again, you would have to win his heart at all. And you don’t “win” anything; he’ll like you or he won’t. Harsh as it may sound, you’ll have to let it lie for awhile. He may come around; he may not. But what you have to remember is crushes are a bunch of emotions that “crush” you at once; as such, they come and go. But in the mean time, find someone you also can connect with, that may share a connection with you. There will be false starts or blind paths, but that’s part of entering the dating highway.

I've met a wonderful man, but he's shy, so I basically carry the conversation. How do I get him to open up?

--Shy guy chit-chat

Keep talking to him. Carry the conversation. As he gets more comfortable, he’ll open up. Many shy guys take awhile to really get comfortable; it won’t happen in a day or in a week necessarily, but if he’s comfortable, he’ll loosen up and talk more. Find some common interests and that can speed up the process.

How do I know if my boyfriend of a year in a half is cheating? We fight all the time.

--Wondering

Fighting doesn’t always equal cheating, and you won’t know unless you find a condom wrapper or a strange pair of panties. If you can’t trust him, find your way to the answer to the second question; it fits here too.

When do you know someone is the right one?

--Looking

Based on the divorce rates, I’d say if you’ve gone 60 years without killing each other or taking half of each other’s property, then it’s safe you found the right one. Until then, it’s pretty much a crapshoot.

Good luck, and thanks for asking.

Got a question? Just ask. You could see your question published in a future column with an answer from Josh!

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