A Word of Advice... on relationships

By Joshua O'Connell
Posted Monday, August 29, 2005

My boyfriend of four years and I are in a long-distance relationship. He left to reside in another country last November. (His family is there.) I couldn't join him because of my job. I am 23. It was so hard for both of us when he left but I guess we are getting through it. We talk on the phone about everything. We are so close to each other and I cannot see myself being with anybody else but him. I just love him so much and I know he loves me too.

After two months of being away he got involved with this woman and got her pregnant. He did not tell me over the phone but waited until when I came to visit him. He said he wanted to tell me in person because he knew I wouldn't understand and does not want to lose me.

He explained to me that it was so hard for him with me not being around and that he feels nothing for that woman. He cried and begged for me to forgive him and don't give up on us because he loves me and I am the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with. He even proposed to me (which I found was not appropriate at a time like this).

I just need some advice as to what to do because I am lost and confused right now. To me the best thing to do is walk away from him but at the same time I cannot do it because I love him so much. It just hurts so badly.

--Lost and confused

You two are getting through it, but he cheated and got another girl pregnant after just two months apart? This isn't working. It's so hard with you not around so he just goes and sleeps with another girl because, you know, it'll bring you closer together. Cough. You have the right instinct here - move toward the exits in the front of back of the theater.

My favorite part: he thought you wouldn't understand. What's there to understand here? He put something where he shouldn't, and now he's got a new 20-year dose of responsibility.

Long distance relationships test how the strength of a relationship since you don't have that daily or weekly contact that you've come to get used to. It can be hard, but loneliness is never an excuse for cheating. It's not worth the pain of having someone being gone and then have it compounded by an inability to trust them anymore. Time to move on.

--Pic problem

People do send random pics. Penis pics aren't random though - they're deliberate. He may be telling the truth here, but I think it's suspect that he's keeping his account active right now and sending pictures. Adultfriendfinder isn't match.com, after all, so the people there aren't looking for long walks on the beach.

If you believe he's telling the truth, share what you did with me - you don't think it's right to send nude pics to people, and unnecessary when he's got someone. If he cares about you, he'll cut (ahem) the private pics.

-- ::POP::

All right, AWOA readers - here's your chance to help someone! The only thing I know about booty popping is that it makes for a good rhyme in a hip-hop song, so if you have any good tips, I'll forward them on. I may publish some of them here too, so I can share with you the booty popping highlights.

--Honesty needed?

You're holding back a very big bombshell. It's very Jerry Springer-like, in fact. Regardless of how many chairs have been thrown on king Jerry's stage, you need to tell him. You've spent half your marriage sharing yourself with someone else, and you might want to ask yourself why as well. Your marriage may have been a bad decision. Either way, fess up.

Good luck, and thanks for asking.

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