A Word of Advice... on roommates

By Joshua O'Connell
Posted Monday, July 30, 2007

My roommate and I moved in together three months ago. We got the first month free by signing a year lease. Last month she didn't pay rent right away so I asked her for it and the other money she owed me for the bills and she flipped, saying she can't take this and I’m harassing her for the money, even though all I did was ask for the overdue rent nicely.

She told me she was looking for another place and she already let the landlord know she was leaving. She also won't pay me the rest of the money she owes (approximately $200) because she says she will just take it out of the damage deposit I will owe her when she moves out. But when I asked when she'll be moving out she says when she gets the damage deposit.

I can't give her the damage deposit until I find someone else to move it. But is there some way to get my money before she moves out? The bills were due on the 10th, I don't want to wait till the end of the month for my money, and that’s only if I can get someone else to move in.

--Money matters

This is something that needs to be tackled sooner rather than later, because she said she’s not moving out until she gets her damage deposit, but you can’t give it to her until she’s replaced. Meanwhile, rent that she legitimately owes you isn’t being paid.

The problem is, I’m afraid, that you can’t force someone to give you money anymore than you can force someone to make a donation to a charitable cause. By this I mean there’s no way, until courts become involved, to get that money from her.

Of course, if she doesn’t get the damage deposit back, and she holds true to her word, she’ll have to pay rent again when next month arrives. So talk to her, hold firm, but be polite and help her understand your position. It’s the best you can do. Meanwhile, spend some time on roommates.com to look for a replacement.

--Touched by a gay?

Let’s not get touchy here. And I mean that in all aspects.

Frankly, I find it a bit annoying that you think that his coming out to you was a prelude to being hit on. He decided, living with you, to be honest and let you know his circumstances. Instead of getting assurance you were correct and being cool with the fact that he trusted you enough to tell you, you worry he wants the cock.

Well, he may want it, but I wouldn’t be too worried about wanting yours. Nowhere in your letter do you mention any flirting, awkwardness, or anything that would indicate he wants you. Considering the close quarters you keep, me thinks there would have been some sort of sign by now.

Chill out and just enjoy the fact that he won’t be attracted to any girl you may date.

--House arrest

If they’re living there, unless your agreement says otherwise, they have to pay utilities. Otherwise, you need to disable the circuit breakers in their part of the house, block the wi-fi access, and disable the phone jacks. Because really, what’s a house without those amenities? It’d even be fun in these hot summer months to find a way to disable the A/C, but that’s a lot of work if central air’s involved.

You confuse me when you reference deposits though. If you’re talking deposits and not utilities, they should pay the deposit to allow you to refund the deposit to the previous couple. When this couple moves out, make sure to five that back. Again, however, this all falls under whether your agreement with them included this. If you have an existing lease, and they’re subletting, it all comes down to the agreement you made.

Good luck, and thanks for asking.

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