A Word of Advice... on sex

By Joshua O'Connell
Posted Monday, February 2, 2004

What can you do to prevent giving too much teeth while giving a guy a blow job?

--My technique sucks

Despite my valient efforts to be knowledgable about many things for my advice column, I can't be an expert in every area. My expertise in the fine art of the blow job is limited, to say the least.

Fortunately, I've been able to call for assistance from my "sexperts," who have a little more knowledge about them. Since I believe in anonymity in my column, and many of my friends read it, we're going to simply call our sexperts for this question "Twig" and "Berries." (If you don't get it, you haven't watched the Austin Powers series enough.)

"Twig" has some experience in pleasing men orally, and she suggested some good methods for getting used to it, such as practicing "on a popsicle... it hurts when you use your teeth for that." Actually, you might want to make that a creamsicle. Also, don't be worried about being great right off the bat: "I've had issues in the past. It just takes practice, and a guy who is willing." A guy who is willing? That sounds difficult to locate.

"Twig" also confided in me that since she has a small mouth, she had to get creative, but it wasn't that hard to figure out: "Concentrate on the sucking action more. It's very difficult to use teeth when actually sucking and not just moving your mouth up and down the shaft."

Before trying, and successfully succeeding, in getting "Berries" all randy just before bed, she had some good suggestions as well. "I think the problem comes when you try to deepthroat it. You have to deal with molars in the back and those are generally sharp and painful. You definitely want to avoid going at it from angles, so go head on." No pun, or porn, intended.

But OUCH! Molars? "If he cries out in pain, you know you're doing it wrong." "Berries" added that she's just kidding, but I doubt I'll let her come near me anytime soon. I told this to "Twig" and I think she hit the nail on the head (STILL no pun intended): "That's just wrong - ask her how she'd like it if a guy bit down on her clit!"

Of course, "Berries" summed it up fairly roughly, but succinctly: "Tell the girl to tell her boyfriend 'Teeth are in my mouth - if you don't want teeth then go get head from a nursing home'." Bascially, you can't expect to be 100% perfect in always avoiding teethage, but you can do your best to avoid it. Both "Twig" and "Berries" also suggested using your lips to protect the guy, or attempting to open the jaw a bit wider. Also, if you find your jaw getting tired, there's other, related activities you can do to give yourself a rest - sore jaw can cause you to not be as attentive to the teeth factor.

Thank you to my "sexperts" for those answers. We may hear from them again soon, too.

Now, how do you follow up a question like that? You don't... so here's something of a different tack:

I have been great friends with a girl for the past two years. The problem is that the whole time I have known that her boyfriend had slept with another girl who happened to be one of my best friends at the time.
This happened when I hardly knew her, and so while I didn't really approve it didn't bother me that much at the time. They slept with each other four times that I know of. Even when we became really good friends I never told her because I was scared. I thought she would hate me; my boyfriend is good friends with her boyfriend, so it would affect their friendship. He always knew that I knew but never spoke with me about it.
It finally got to me when we were having drinks with friends and she told me that if her boyfriend ever cheated on her she would want to know, no matter how long ago it had happened. I felt so guilty that I told our other friend so I could get another opinion. She thought I should tell her since she doesn't like the boyfriend either. He does not treat her well and is very possessive and demanding.
I decided to let the boyfriend know that I intended on telling her if he didn't. I told him her friend now knew as well. He got really angry at me and refused to tell her. In the end I said I wouldn't tell her as he started to threaten me if I did.
Well, he told her because he was worried that the other friend would end up telling her and now everything is a mess. She will not answer my calls but has replyed to a couple of my text messages. She is really upset and talking about getting drunk and driving into a tree. My boyfriend is also upset because now his friend (the boyfriend) is angry at him because of me. I feel like I have made a huge mistake even though I didn't tell her in the end.
Do you think I have lost her friendship for good? I dont know whether to try and talk to her or let her come to me.

--Cheating hearts

Getting drunk and driving into a tree? Me thinks that could be a hair close to overreaction status, even though it's so horrible. After all, she got what she wanted.

You probably have lost her friendship in the short run, but not necessarily in the long run. Yes, you were the catalyst to all this, but you opted to make sure she knew about it instead of allowing him to have done that completely unnoticed. The fact that he cheated at all, at any point in the relationship, isn't all that good, even if his feelings got stronger as time went on. The fact that he did it once just leaves the potential for it happening again.

She'll probably think of you as the one who allowed all this to happen, but as logic seeps in (not a guarantee though - be warned) chances are at least semi-good she'll eventually realize you had good intentions and were trying to protect her vs. let this lie live on. If anything, you've cleared the air, and things will shake out soon enough. Just give it some time.

Good luck, and thanks for asking.

Got a question? Just ask. You could see your question published in a future column with an answer from Josh!

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