A Word of Advice... on sex

By Joshua O'Connell
Posted Monday, September 5, 2005

A little experiment this week for the advice column … I chatted with a reader on AIM about her sex life. She was amazingly straightforward, which made for an interesting discussion. Let me know what you think of this format.

AWOA (bolded): You're a gray area virgin! Now, explain to me how this works? This is a new one for me What do you mean?

Only a minute? How come? (pardon the pun...)

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought that. :-) Because he wants my first time to be special, and not on the couch or in the middle of the day or anything like that. He doesn't want me to regret it like he did.

But why for a minute? Why cocktease to begin with? Is this like practice insertions or something? So you can get used to it and such? This intrigues me.

We don't know. We do it a LOT, too. And by "a lot," I mean, "pretty much every day." I think because we're both just really horny. And it starts hurting less and less.

But that doesn't reduce the horniness... it's not getting you any release or anything

Well, I usually get release. :-) (I have a gooooood boyfriend.)

I'm betting you it'd be even better than once you get to the real thing then... it's true! The ones who are most innocent in high school become the most fun later. LOL

Yes, it does seem to be true. :-) I don't give blow jobs though. I'm scared of come. But I cocktease. I don't have a gag reflex, so I can deepthroat.

What are you afraid of with blowjobs though?

I have this odd fear of come... that it will go all over the place or something.

Have you been in a situation where you could see him come? Do you know if he's got distance or anything?

I've never been in that situation. I've never finished a hand job or anything, and it's not like I've ever watched him masturbate. Lately, I've been considering finishing a hand job in the shower because, well, I guess it wouldn't matter if it got everywhere.

Well, you should figure this out. It might help you if he's more of a dribbler. Plus you won't keep giving him blue balls... Second, you *could* let him come in your mouth... many people don't swallow, but just catch it and spit it out.

I think I'd swallow... I've thought about it, and, well, why not?

I wouldn't recommend that until you get more comfortable with him though... if he can't come with you yet, you need to get past that. Even if you give him a hand job, angle it towards his stomach (I'm assuming he's minimum shirtless) so it doesn't go flying everywhere. Remember, guys can aim. LOL They CAN??!!

It's God's greatest gift :-)

That's SO cool! Guys can do really cool things with their penises.

Back to the advice...Even when he's about to come you could let him take over so he can angle it accordingly for the first shot or two, and then you can take back over... if you want to go a step further and sort of get used to the taste of cum, once the biggest shots are out, you can go down on him and you'll get *some* of it, since obviously it'll be there, but it won't be the higher volume in case you can't take it at first... cum's got a really weird taste, and can vary widely from person to person

hmm... I might try that. I don't know, I think I'm just scared because he's the first guy I've EVER done anything with. I should have gotten over this a long time ago, but it's not like I had an opportunity. I've told him I feel bad about it, but he totally understands.

First of all, that's really cool that he does understand. But basically, you just need to take baby steps I had another good idea: flavored condoms! The come would stay in the condom AND it would be flavored

Flavored condoms won't get you over the whole come thing though, and that still keeps hand jobs from being totally effective

true, true. BUT, it would still be a blow job and I'm sure he'd like it. So it'd be a start. And I could also figure out how to put a condom on.

But I would recommend trying the jerking off in the shower, since it wouldn't matter, and maybe bringing him to completion with a hand job... both are safe, you don't have to be so scared of it, and you'll see it's a natural thing What people tell me is a real turn on is being able to look up and see their reaction as a guy comes The fact that you could do *that* for a person...

Yeah, I can sense that.

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