Word of advice: Give roommates a fair chance

By Joshua O'Connell
Posted Monday, March 3, 2003

During the summer before I headed off to college, I was sent paperwork about roommates and my personal preferences. Do I smoke? Am I messy? Do I go to bed early or stay up late?

My father got wind of this and said to me: "Be prepared. They like to pair you with complete opposites to force you to get along with people."

While that has been more the exception than the norm for me during my three years of college, I have been in situations that have been better than others. Some people I got along with; others I didn't. With that in mind, here are some tips for those who are preparing for college about what to expect:

• Prepare for the worst, although it's unlikely. You're bound to not get along with your roommate in some form, unless you're like me: I got paired with someone who was quite close to being my long, lost clone. Those differences we did have we worked out fairly quickly.
• Forget about the petty stuff. In high school, things seem fairly carefree, unless your friend starts stealing food off your lunch tray. Get ready for high school's French fries to become college's 12-pack of soda, however, because many college students have money only on an occasional basis, and sharing (on an honor system) tends to work best.
• Have a friend at housing. In the rare instance where your roommate is intolerable, be sure that you know someone at housing who is willing to help you out. Instead of being another name on a piece of paperwork, you can be on a first name basis and be able to accomplish something.
• Don't room with high school friends. This tried-and-failed method of trying to get a great roommate rarely works. Yesterday's friend becomes today's, "I can't believe he's doing that with his socks." I've seen a lot of friendships destruct over this; sometimes you can get too much of a good thing.
• Most of all, be patient. Many of my friends have gone as long as six months without saying a word to their roommates, almost hating them on a "I haven't gotten to know you so you must stink" level. Then, there's this one night of deep conversation where everything just sort of rolls along and, out of the blue, a great friendship forms. Give people a chance and they'll tend to prove more palatable even if the first impression is less than stellar.

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