Ready, set, love!

By Adam Kuhn
Posted Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Around 7 last night, a friend and I went out for a late breakfast. From our conversation, I got to thinking about relationships and competition. In my reality, I am surrounded by friends, ranging from 18 to 25, who all feel the need to get married. Every few months, another one of my close friends announces their engagement, as if it were puberty. The sooner you go through it, the cooler you are.

My friend had been with her man for roughly 5 months before deciding to tie the knot. He proposed around Christmas with a ring which was impressive given his operation under a twenty-something's budget. She brought up how her friend, whose been with her man for over two years, seemed upset with her relationship because after so much time together, no question had yet been popped.

It's interesting to realize that when things are going perfect for you, you can become blind to them when things are going perfect for someone else. How is it that your friend's engagement to her man can wash away two years of happiness with your man? Or in my situation, how can a day that started with watching the Coliseum go down, then driving your friend's stick-shift Mini Cooper to the diner suddenly turn cloudy when it's concluded with an awkward night with someone you like? When and why did we put so much into having it all when it comes to relationships?

We've all played the role of the 3rd, 5th, or even 11th wheel. It's never fun, and it always brings up tension and jealousy. And it only gets worse when all of your teenage and twenty-something friends bring up things like when the wedding is. Usually, when you're still single in your... I don't know... thirties, you begin to adopt ideas like "marrieds are the enemy". Those happy, pretty, "we" people, who essentially merge into one person, and do nothing but make out and talk cute to each other the entire night when you just want to hang out and bitch about life, like in the good ol' days. Is it unhealthy to adopt this idea when you're 19?

In the gay dating world, it gets even more competitive. Mixed with the already pain-in-the-ass game of who's hotter, gay men let their boyish, testosterone-driven mentality drive the contest to a different level. When playing the field, gay men don't compete for one particular prospective boyfriend. Instead, more typical mating season behavior includes getting half naked and dancing like a woman on a high platform until a select few brave souls approach to make a move. The only difference between them and fly paper is they often let most of the flies go, just to show how fabulous and desired they are.

In relation to my friend's situation, a gay man won't only show off the level of intensity in the relationship, oh no. The masculine, competitive nature calls for more. Not only do they have to be more in love to win, but his boyfriend must be hotter, have better taste, and rock in the sack. In the game of romance and competition, where your friends are the adversaries, who wins?

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