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Have Some of Column A, Try All of Column B
At some point in every gay man's life, he must ask himself a certain question; a question that has scratched the back of the gay man's mind for decades: Is it smart, or safe, to pursue a bisexual man? In high school, it was easy. Everyone was bisexual. Being bi was the cool thing to do. It wasn't until senior year when people started picking sides that it became clear who was available and who wasn't. However, after the safety of adolescence has taken its leave, and a select few still claim to swing both ways, how credible is their story? Or more importantly, how credulous are we to take them seriously? A large project I was a part of came to a close the other night, during the final days of which there was a mild flirtation between a bisexual male and myself. Unfortunately, throughout most of the project, I was swamped, and unable to respond to the passes he was clearly making. It wasn't until the final night, when I saw him going after a girl, that I became aggressive and made a bold move. I took him to a back room, and kissed him. Whether or not my actions meant anything still remains to be seen, but I think my sad attempt was too little, too late. I was beaten to the punch. He got the girl and I got pissed. At first I thought I was just being jealous, but then I thought back on the many, many times this has happened before. Then it hit me: Bisexual men: de facto or de fable? I'm sure we've all had our share of guys during our youth who just wanted to enjoy the title, not the duties, of their claimed sexual orientation. Before graduation, I had lost count of how many guys called themselves "sexually open-minded" and "willing to try new things". They operated under the title of bisexual on the grounds that if they made out with a guy during a rousing game of truth or dare, then that one instance changed their sexual identity forever. I'm not proud to say that most of these "bi" men quickly reverted back to straight after I had gotten to them. …Assholes. High school sucked. According to my experience, “bisexual” men, the few and far between, usually hold relationships with women, and only sometimes pursue men, typically just for sexual purposes. Although experience, in my opinion, speaks above any other resource, I had to do some research. I came across a study conducted in 2005 whose intention was to solve the very puzzle scattered in my head. Do bisexual men really exist? Gerulf Rieger, a PhD candidate at Northwestern University and psychology professor J. Michael Bailey, PhD conducted this study by very simply measuring sexual arousal to explain true sexual feelings. Rieger, someone who believes in male bisexuality about as much as I do, told WebMD, "In men, there is no good evidence that something like true bisexual attraction is out there." In a nutshell, the way these gentlemen carried out this experiment was sitting a sample of people down in front of porn; some including men with women, some with men and men, and some with women and women. In this sample of people, about a third identified themselves as heterosexual, a third bisexual, and a third homosexual. While watching the videos, the men indicated how aroused they were by moving a lever up and down. Also, genital arousal was measured by a small elastic device attached to their members... to prevent cheating of course. Essentially, what Rieger and Bailey found was that the heterosexual men were generally aroused by the women on women action, their genital measurements agreeing, and the homosexual men generally aroused by the men on men action, their genital measurements agreeing. The bisexual men however, although claiming to be aroused by both types of action, were only genitally aroused by one or the other, not both. They also conducted this study with women, having a similar apparatus attached to their equipment. The women, no matter what sexual identity claimed, showed genital arousal to all the videos, displaying true bisexual tendencies. Shortly after the experiment, it was concluded that "Women are from Venus and Mars, Men are from Venus or Mars." "We make a distinction between identity, behavior, and attraction," Rieger says. "Identity is how you perceive yourself. Behavior is what you do. And attraction is what I consider your true sexual feelings for your own sex or for a member of the opposite sex." This study has received considerable criticism and dispute, but in accordance to what I've experienced, it makes perfect sense. "Bisexual" men will claim one identity, but follow completely different behavior. What are these bisexuals all about? What's going on in that coconut of theirs? What are they really after? Are they authentically confused with who they are? Or do they just have us all fooled?
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