Rush Hour

By Adam Kuhn
Posted Friday, August 3, 2007

Kids today are growing up fast. Adolescent, and sometimes pre-pubescent, “bois” are coming out of the closet and having sex with other guys earlier and earlier, and it seems almost every teeny-bopper on the street is asking me for a cigarette.

Advocates call this a good sign. Larger parts of society view homosexuality as acceptable today than any other generation before. But the underlying question that I had, the one that no one likes to hear me ask, is whether or not coming out of the closet, and climbing right into bed, really is a good sign.

Someone I know, who just turned 18, is a go-go dancer at a club in lower Chelsea. He has the body of a 23-year-old, and he’s probably had more sexual encounters than I have. Not to say I'm perfectly innocent–my first gay sexual endeavor was a threesome at the age of 14. But from under the cloud of nostalgia, I began to think about the value of a sheltered childhood. Early sex: Were we getting lucky? Or just getting screwed?

Let’s compare: Joe is your average, run-of-the-mill, working-class father. His daughter Jenny just turned 16. Jenny’s boyfriend is coming over tonight to pick her up for the prom. Joe promised Jenny’s boyfriend that if he touches his little girl in a way that displeases him, he’ll be going home in an ambulance.

Joe’s gay son Ben came out of the closet on his fourteenth birthday last year. Joe had difficulty adjusting to Ben discovery, but he loves his son nonetheless, and wants to support him in every way a loving father can. Now at 15, Ben is going to a school dance. When his boyfriend came to pick him up, Joe didn’t want to discourage Ben’s new identity, so he gave Ben a condom and sent him on his way.

Sometimes we forget that being gay isn’t about lifestyle. Being gay is about sex. Going to clubs, staying out late, and having wild anonymous hook-ups fall into the category of lifestyle; which gender you happen to prefer over the other does not.

In today’s world, where social acceptance isn’t quite at 100 percent yet, we still have to look out for each other. Unfortunately, that means instead of getting the talk from your family, you’re getting condoms and pamphlets from strangers at pride parades.

In recent decades, we’ve tried to make “gay” look like a more positive and fun way of life to try to attract closet-cases out of hiding. We throw parties, we dance, we drink fabulous cocktails… and we have sex… lots of sex. Granted, there is absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying the wonders and excitement and infinite pleasures of sex, but just like the sex straight people have, is it really something we want kids to be around?

Kids are dying to grow up. Adults are dying to be young. When we were teenagers, all we wanted to do was have sex as soon as we could, just to show off how cool we were. The thing that we never wanted to admit though is that afterward, we didn’t feel any different. We didn’t feel older or cooler. If anything, we felt a little sore because neither of us knew what we were doing.

From a distance, the life that sexually affluent teenagers have looks amazing and you’d do anything to be one of them. Envy, sad to say, drives some of our relationships.

There’s a secret to those people though. Behind their tight little abs, cute outfits, and streaming confidence is part of them that would kill for their childhood; before they jumped into the world of sex, and nightclubs, and “gay-dom”; when they asked their parents for rides to the mall, and got in trouble for not doing their homework.

Don’t let them fool you. Underneath the mask, they miss the life they never had. I know I do.

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