What's your sign?

By Adam Kuhn
Posted Friday, September 14, 2007

In life, there are signs everywhere. In New York City, they’re most likely conveniently placed directly in your face. In other departments of life, they can sometimes be a little harder to find. Sometimes you don’t want to see them. Other times you’re desperate for one. I was in the unfavorable spot of right between those two poles.

I had been seeing a very cute and very charming French boy for a little over a month now and everything was going great. Before too long, we were inseparable. Every day, I would go to work, or class, come back to his place in the village, and we’d spend the rest of the night together. It was beginning to feel incredibly right, like this is the way my life should be. And I was beginning to get very comfortable.

A few weeks in, while we were talking over drinks one night, we told each other our birthdays. I told him the meaning behind my Aries tattoo, and he put more meaning behind an old sign that had been haunting me for years. His birthday was on November sixth. 11/6.

A few years ago, meaning a million, I dated a very cute and very charming boy. We were both young, and so naïve that we incorporated the day we started dating into almost every facet of our relationship. November sixth. 11/6.

We were in love, inseparable. Every day I would go to work, or class, back to his place, and get very comfortable. Seven months in, the apocalypse occurred. It took me a long time to recover, and as a price for making myself vulnerable, “11/6” followed me everywhere.

What confused me so much about this recent occurrence, besides the fact that New York had done me the favor of shoving it right in my face, was that this time, 11/6 didn’t bring painful reminders, it brought new, and wonderful, beginnings.

Granted, our relationship was cursed from the start. School and work kept us apart most of the week, my dorm had a bug problem, making me look like I had the plague, and my beautiful French boyfriend was only here on vacation for a few months. I had to face the reality that no matter what, our love was temporary.

Then I thought maybe that’s the meaning behind this sign. Maybe 11/6 was my own personal red flag when it came to relationships. Or maybe I should just shut up and enjoy the ride. I couldn’t decide… Were these signs a friendly reminder? Or were they fair warning?

A friend of mine at work, who is very keen on the idea that we create our own destinies, says that signs are simply an extension of ourselves. By thinking a certain way, or allowing our minds to be bombarded by a certain way of thinking, we change the powers in our space and thereby attract certain things to our space. Shared dates are just coincidence.

“It’s like if you bought a Saturn, and you’ve never driven a Saturn. Now you’re going to notice Saturns everywhere.”

Was she right? Why is it that after you buy a car, you begin to notice more of those kinds of cars on the road? Did I create a lens for my brain just for that sign? And if so, was there a way to take it off?

Significant events in your life, whether they come from work, a relationship, a childhood memory, always leave us with a unique and effective mark on our minds. For me, having my heart smashed by someone who might as well have tattooed “11/6” on my ass of course made me a little cautious about those numbers in that order. That was clear. But was it fair, or healthy, to keep that sign in mind when it comes to new adventures?

Ultimately I decided that my lens wasn’t going anywhere. After all these years, signs from past were still around serving as a reminder. With time, they no longer brought back the pain, but more so gave me a subtle reminder of where I’ve been. And that brought me comfort. In the meantime, I had a blast taking my new French model out for a spin. There’s not another one like it on the road.

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