The Two-Month Curse

By Adam Kuhn
Posted Friday, September 21, 2007

A few years ago, I bought a cheap sterling silver ring at Renaissance Faire. Over those years, that ring never came off. Every significant level my life grew to, my ring was there. When my family fell apart, when my family came back together, when I found my greatest love, during my greatest disaster, my ring was on.

The ring became a symbol of my growth and prosperity, and whenever I was going through a difficult time, I would spin my ring around my finger and think to myself, “Ehh, I’ve had worse…” The ring was particularly comforting when it came to relationship problems. Whether it was loneliness or some emotional meltdown, the meaning behind the ring always helped my climb back to stability.

There comes a time in every person’s life when they get the feeling they are cursed when it comes to love. Sometimes a special someone doesn’t show up for months or years and we begin to consider the possibility of there being outside forces having some influence on our romantic destinies.

Most times it comes in the form of absence. We’d go through life single and alone for an almost unfair length of time without the entrance of anyone special. Perhaps other times, special people would come along and show shimmering potential, then soon after reveal their childish state of mind, or their eye for other guys, or their impressive collection of women’s shoes.

My scenario seemed even more unfair. Over the past several years, special people would enter my life, show shimmering potential, maintain their fabulous luster, and then disappear due to an uncontrollable circumstance neither of us saw coming.

Two months in to my relationship with a man when I lived in Pittsburgh, I was cheated on with a homely country boy and moved back home. Two months into a relationship with a Boston man, his grossly wealthy parents bought him a new car, it went to his head, and his uncontrollable desire to impress his friends in front of everyone drove me away.

There once was a gorgeous man from just outside Hartford, and two months into our very promising relationship, he moved to Miami. Upon arrival in the sunny and beautiful town, he called me to tell me those three little words: “I love you.” I responded with those four little words: “Are you f*ckin’ kidding?!”

The two-month curse still lingers over my head, so it’s no surprise that my current relationship is suffering from the same criteria. When I moved to New York, I met a very charming man from London and my heart quickly began free-falling. I tried fighting it, but I was in love, and had to face the harsh fact that in two months, he would be returning to the UK.

Early last month, my European lover and I declared our love for each other. Even through the fear and uncertainty we both had for the idea, we finally reached a point where our feelings could no longer be contained. We both felt as though we had found the person we’d been searching for all of our adult lives… in gay years of course…

It is often said that when a big love comes along, you simply know it. There’s no way to describe the feeling, and unfortunately, there’s no way to provoke, or deflect, its arrival. We are simply at the mercy of this phenomenon, and have no choice but to yield to it when it decides to fly across the Atlantic. There, in its simplicity, and paradox, my curse became clear.

Dating wasn’t a problem for me. It seemed selfish, but I had no trouble bringing new people into my life, and no problem keeping them around for a while. Everyone else’s challenge of meeting great people was my easy part. I suppose I was blessed in that department. Then again, was I?

The past few relationships that mattered all had one thing in common: distance. They either moved to Miami, or went back to school in Vermont, or were only here on vacation. Then again, I realized they all had one other thing in common: my ring.

When I first had that ring, I was with someone who ultimately put my heart through a juicer. Ever since, the ring helped me get through the bad times. Did my ring have something to do with my two-month relationships? Was my crutch in life somehow provoking crutch relationships?

Once I made that connection, I knew it was time to grow up. I was a new city, with a new man, living a new life. If I couldn’t even go without crutches in this town, how on earth would I eventually grow to rule it?

I figured my ring would be better in the hands, and maybe one day on the hands, of someone else. Something that meant so much to me should go to someone who means so much to me, so I gave me ring to my European boyfriend. Maybe one day, it will help him get through some tough times too.

 E-mail this page
 Printer-friendly page